[my version]
When I see you before me
I think God has painted
a magnificent portrait
in the air itself
the trail from the bubble bath
in the tub
the white towels hugging on the white tiles
the wisp of smoke dancing like the silhouette of an Arabian dancer
on the candle that just went out
moonlight reflecting on the floor
snow flakes slowly so silently [...]
[sukhdeeps rewrite]
In an instance when you arise
laid upon you, though you, within you are my eyes
From this moment of your sight
I know that God shines his light.
The trial of bountiful bubbles from the bath
lingers like your sensual laugh
towels creasing the tiles
the scent of the candles spreading passion for miles
the wisp of smoke dancing like the [...]
It ain’t no lie All I can do is try
and give you something good
and I should while we’re still alive
but is this something you would
let me?
experiment with experience
it makes sense, and so
the pretense of my intense
desire to let you know
I think your alright.
let our attraction bloom
in an afternoon we can
resume back in your room
to where [...]